I haven’t done one of these in a long time! How does this work again?
I decided to turn this update into a mess of my mind, so please enjoy the randomness.
What should I say about myself or about anything? Just I mean, a lot. A lot of things have happened I guess.
I want to say that I am here! I exist! I am doing the best I can 🙂
Writing has been really big for me. A lot of poetry, especially for classes and of course myself.
On another note, I’ve been going to therapy and honestly, it has opened up a lot of things for me. It’s helped out in a lot of things. For my own health and safety. This week will be my last appointment but I was thinking of maybe starting it up again in the spring of next year.
I know I always say that I have a new project to start up but I’m really serious about it. Things like this take time and I want to take into consideration the artists I want to feature and their own work. The things I want to feature are their videos, projects, writings, art, and other things. I don’t want to be the only writer here which is why I really want to feature others. Maybe I can configure a way to easily access their work on my homepage once I start publishing the articles.
You want to know something funny? I have played this song every day since the day it was released in April. I’m really not joking when I say this.
It, of course, became my top song of the year. I don’t know why. My problem with things is that I obsess over stuff. It can be really bad. But hey, at least I obsess over something like music and nothing too bad or creepy!
Some people might find it funny, but The Garden has become one of my favorite bands to date. I think it’s my version of my parents obsessing over The Pixies when they were my age.
There’s something about this band that reminds me to just be a fucking weirdo. It’s okay to be whatever and express yourself. It’s okay to carry different personas and feelings. I love it.
I started drawing again and being creative for myself. Like I said before my art and poetry have been great outlets for when I can’t think straight. Mind dumping. I do a lot of mind dumping on the music I create. It’s mostly just a bunch of junk but it’s my junk and I like making it 🙂
I’ve become more sociable and it’s draining and rewarding at the same time. Sometimes being apart of something helps in the ‘terrible moments’ (be it anxiety, depression, crap) or even being there or being available for someone.
I’ve realized that I do and I don’t like being separated or alone. Yet, I think it’s more than that, I just want to make sure everyone is okay- I know how you feel, or in at least some way I can empathize.
I got a tattoo, and I’ll probably get more.
I’ve realized I’m a dark flower child? Also, I love wearing mens clothing and I sometimes really want to present myself masculine and feminite. I honestly see no boarder between the two, so probably androgynous.
What else is there to tell you? I honestly can’t think of anything yet, but this is only part one of an update. Once the end of the year is nearing I might have some more things to say.
I think what is most important right now is taking care of myself the best way I can. Work, write, talk, explore, and listen. Maybe have more dance breaks in my room.
how do you express yourself? what is something you’ve done or made currently or in the past? please share in the comments or on Instagram @_hollie_songbird_blog