-don’t be afraid of the room-

-don’t be afraid of the room-

A JANUARY-FEBRUARY UPDATE

 

Two months have gone by and we are now in March! February seemed like the longest month ever, I thought it would never end. Not that I hate that month, it was just a buffer until March and April where spring, music, vacation, and concerts start dropping my way.

I think I’ve been lost in my own thoughts. Continue reading “-don’t be afraid of the room-“

GOOD THINGS- small talk, people, things, smiles

GOOD THINGS- small talk, people, things, smiles

SO, how long has it been since I made a video? Almost since the summer, I think.

I’m really glad I made this video. It felt good and I was in no rush to make it. I know when I did the youtube thing I planned heavily or I made dumb goals that were unattainable.

This video is everywhere! I do a little bit of catch up on where and what I’ve been doing and at 7:07 the rest is a cute little montage of some good things 😉

Please enjoy!

If you like things like this pls lemme kno!

 

H

i only said – an update

i only said – an update

Mental Health, Physical Health, Creative Projects, and Getting Back 

Hi

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. I think the last one I did was around February. Now that it’s summer I can finally tell you a few things to come. I know I haven’t been posting lately and I think the last post I did was about two weeks ago, so it’s been a while! I’m sorry about that, things got really busy on the last few weeks of school and it seemed like I had no time for any personal projects or ideas I had. Plus, work takes up some of my free time so I had no motivation to set aside blog time. I feel like it’s been a month since I’ve done anything on here, but that should change soon! I’ve been going through a lot of things and I will be honest and say Continue reading “i only said – an update”

New Harmony – An Update

New Harmony – An Update

“This night has opened my eyes…”

Hi, it’s been about a month? Maybe? And this “night” is not any particular night, its a lyric from a song that describes a lot of the first month and few weeks of the new year, and I thought I could reflect a little bit on it. Not in specifics but you know what I mean! Continue reading “New Harmony – An Update”

New Anthem

New Anthem

A new year?! Who would have thought…

This new year has brought a lot on my plate, good and bad, and I think I’ve learned so much about myself. I don’t have all the answers, and that’s okay. I think this year I placed a lot of effort into my blogging and creative flow, maybe not as much as I wanted to, but obviously something is different with my style, aesthetic, and the things I like to talk about. I also feel that I have connected so much to my roommates, and although we are a full house of 6, it is still manageable and great to have people in your life. I can’t wait to see what shenanigans we get into ;). To be honest with you, I do and don’t remember much of 2018 yet I can feel the affects of it. Not that I didn’t pay attention, believe me I’ve taken everything in that has happened to me this year. I feel that all of this looking back should be beyond reminiscing, I always believed in growing and moving from the past. I do remember this year was very musical for me. I went to a lot of concerts and drowned myself in music to the point that it’s my matter of photosynthesis. I’ve met new people and reconnected with old ones. I don’t want to dabble what happened in 2018, but it was a great year that showed me so much beauty in life, people, and myself. Thing are going to be different but that’s what I love about life. I have so much love to give and share with others and I am so excited for the new things and memories to make.

I love you all very much.

H

Song – We’ll Let You Know by Morrissey

 

 

 

 

Hollie’s Notebook – New Skills, Personal Goals, Life Goals

Hollie’s Notebook – New Skills, Personal Goals, Life Goals

Is this a new series? I don’t know, I feel that I have a lot of ongoing series happening to holliesongbird.com. I have playlists, Songs of The Week, Monthly Updates, What’s In My Journal, Gratitude, Reviews, Favorites, and many more that I’ve been thinking about but too afraid to start. I don’t want to lose my posts within themselves, so I decided to think about reorganizing. Before I get to that, I wanted to let you know that this may or may not be a new series. I wouldn’t categorize it as a Monthly Update since it won’t be anything about what is happening in my mental health or life. These are just notes I could have written down in my note book about bettering myself, or things I plan or wish to do over the break or free time. So I hope you enjoy, I figured that If I gave an explanation for this post it might help you better understand the messes I make for myself, hahaha. Here it goes.

Continue reading “Hollie’s Notebook – New Skills, Personal Goals, Life Goals”

All I Wanna Do…

All I Wanna Do…

Stress, YouTube, Self-degrading, Music, Thoughts, Life Update

HI

So it’s been a pretty long time since I’ve done a blog update. Actually since the summer. I’m not too sure where to start but, it’s been a lot. I wanted to do an update since the start of the school semester but I never got the time to do it. Sometimes I Continue reading “All I Wanna Do…”

Where this Flower Blooms

Where this Flower Blooms

Back from traveling, body image, thoughts  

It has been a little more than a week since I’ve posted anything on my blog. Honestly, I’m tired. My trip took a lot of energy out of me and I decided to take a break for a bit. Get in tune with what to plan for the next posts and videos I want to do. My head always swarms with thoughts and ideas that its hard to figure out what I want to do and when I want to do it.

Being back in the states is so nice. I wasn’t sure if I was going to feel homesick at all but I was extremely homesick, up to a point where I was getting stressed out about it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved traveling and exploring new places and trying new things. I had a wonderful experience and I wish and hope that other people get to experience it in their own lives.

…..

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I look. Like a lot. During the vacation, I was constantly asked about my age and the fact that I don’t look like my own ethnicity. Everyone thought I was at least 3 or 4 years younger than my real age and that I looked Indian because of my nose ring and I guess the combination of my hair and my skin color. That got me thinking and feeling a lot more self-conscious about my appearance. I think I dress okay, I don’t wear a lot of makeup and I don’t do my hair that often.I’m 5’1 so that doesn’t help the problem.

But why is this a problem in the first place?

Let me just say, if you want to comment on my age around a time in my life that I am literally a young adult, please don’t. It does not make sense to tell a 20-year old that they look so young, wait till I’m 40.

Not only is this about age, but the physical appearance and my own battle of beauty do take a toll on me. Sometimes I wish I was older looking, that I was taller with a bigger butt, or that my hair can naturally be perfect when I wake up. Or if my nose didn’t have a bump in it or that my head wasn’t so tiny. These are terrible thoughts,

I stop myself and think, as cheesy as it sounds: You look badass

Because I do, we all do. I heard someone say, you shouldn’t change who you are you should grow. That is the answer.

Growing is so important. I am not the person who I was 2 years ago. Honestly, I’m anxious, scared, aware- but I’m alive and happier. I feel so beautiful. This time in my life is the best I’ve ever looked. My brother told me that every time I visit it looks like I’ve glowed up since the last time. That compliment stuck with me because he noticed the change. It made me realize growth.

We always worry about how we look, how we sound, how we are. It’s inevitable. Even if I do love and accept myself that does not tear away the factor that I can be sad, I can be unhappy, tired, and not my best. Everyone has their limits to what they can feel. Don’t blame yourself for the unwanted feeling of unhappiness. It’s okay to fall down an get hurt, but you have to get back up and continue. Take your time and grow. Change can be stagnant. We all know that growth comes with change and continuous development.

I wanted to put these words out here for myself and for others. I’ve been having a hard time understanding certain emotions I’ve been feeling and I want to break out of it. I hope I made sense and if not, just imagine that this is from my own personal journal. Journals never make sense.

I’m back now, ready for the last month of summer! Also, I want to try a new look for my Instagram;  picture concepts, Videos provided, maybe some new songs I’ve been contemplating. I will have my weekly Songs of the Week, I didn’t forget 😉

 

H

April:Monthly Catch Up

April:Monthly Catch Up

Some Favorites, New Projects, the end of the semester, whats going on…

I am writing this on the last of April. I planned to do this sooner, but it did not work out! Anyway, hello to the new Month of May. What we got coming up is my brothers birthday, mother’s day, dead week (for some), and the summer! For me this last week will be filled with exams and a quiz, but not to worry, the good thing is that I will get it done!

I can’t believe how fast and jam-packed this month has been. So many concerts, new projects, assignments, and events. I’m not even sure where to start!

Continue reading “April:Monthly Catch Up”

Febuary: Monthy Catch Up

Febuary: Monthy Catch Up

Although this month is short, it seems to me that it’s been going on for forever. I think I’ve been more stressed than I was last month and I think it has to do with the fact that there are few days in this month to work with. Even as the days seem long, time goes by too fast for me.

Where should I start..

This is the month of first exams so I’ve been swamped by unnecessary quizzes, information, and readings that I wish I could enjoy but my anxiousness doesn’t allow me. The main thing I’ve been looking forward to is SPRING BREAK. I want to for once get in a swimsuit and get into a pool, and at least have some warm weather for once! It’s dreary outside but sooner or later it will be scorching hot and I’ll be begging for the cold again.

I’ve been on the hunt to search for a new internship which is incredibly hard and annoying. I have some companies and places in mind, hopefully, they’ll be looking for a 20-year-old with somewhat experience. I work for the Fine Arts Career Services as a MArking Assistant. I help with making fliers, designing, marketing business. But for this next year, I want to work with something under my field or that involves literature. I looked at some non- profit publishing companies for Austen so hopefully I can find an internship there. Hopefully!

I have been so tired. I hate when that happens. Why does life make people feel like this? I literally don’t want to do anything. But I have to keep busy, summer is for laziness and relaxing. Spring and Fall not so much. I’m still running and I’m slowly seeing the progress of my work. This past week I didn’t run for three days and it killed me. I don’t think I went back to my old habits, I definitely feel really good when I run and I’ve seen some changes in my legs! I need to train more on endurance and millage.

Continue reading “Febuary: Monthy Catch Up”

January: Monthy Catch Up

January: Monthy Catch Up

Here we are on the last day of January

Well, the first month of January is coming to an end. This month has been pretty good, I’ve just been doing my own thing and doing class work. Already, homework has been so annoying but I have pretty good classes, so why complain? But besides that, I have been pretty good with my resolutions. I work out regularly and my eating habits have been way better than before. One of the newest things that have happened is, I made an Instagram for my blog! (Pls go follow it to keep up with any future posts I do!) Besides that, I feel that nothing as new has happened.

I started thinking about what I should do to spruce up my journal writing, and I’ve taken to account on making it prettier like a bullet journal. One of my roommates and I have been obsessed with peoples monthly spreads and decoration for their journal. I think I might start considering it, however not to the full extent of extreme bullet journaling. I will more than likely make a calendar for the year and then a page for each month.

Continue reading “January: Monthy Catch Up”

NEW SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM

NEW SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM

I just started an Instagram for holliesongbird.wordpress.com! I thought I should reach out to more people for my creative content and such! I hope that whoever is listening here and viewing my blog will check out Instagram and maybe give me a follow 😉 *wink wink.

@_hollie_songbird_blogScreen Shot 2018-01-22 at 2.07.43 PM.png

Let me know what you think about it and please spread the love! 🙂

H

Bye 2017

Bye 2017

For everyone, I think 2017 was honestly crappy. It was. But I also believe that it’s given me a whole new change and perspective on life, and myself. I’ve had so many new experiences and met so many new people. I’ve come to realizations about myself and others. I’ve reconnected with people and I lost others.

I know that this year generally was “hard” and the “worst” for everyone, but I think it was the most changing for myself. Lately, I have not been so great when it comes to posting my poetry and other things, I know that the Christmas break is one part of the procrastination. However, I’ve been experiencing some emotional things in my life. Mentally I feel as if I get depressed, sad, and the loss of motivation. Sometimes I’ll be mentally drained that it’s too hard or too much to do anything. It’s something I struggle with a lot and I usually don’t talk about. I get self-conscious and I worry about making something great and good to place in a public space. I don’t want to label it or make it seem like I’m the only one with this problem. I know other people go through that. Even now I’m not fully explaining how I feel and other anxiety issues I have. But that’s for another time. I think these emotions and stressfulness has a lot to do with the way the world is now. College scars us 18 to 25 year olds, and exerts so much stress on us. And the answer to that is just to “deal with it” or “That’s how life is”. No, it doesn’t have to be like that. 

Maybe 2018 can give us a new start to make something wonderful in life. To make life not shitty for ourselves. That is one thing I want to do for myself. 2017 has taken so much from me and given so much back. And I want to reflect on the great things that have happened in 2017.

First off 2017 gave me the chance to travel outside the states. I had the wonderful opportunity to go visit my Dad and my step Mom in Okinawa, Japan. I still can’t believe I got to experience a culture like Japan’s. To this day I still miss it and I can’t wait to go back this summer. I know for sure we’re going to go to Thailand or another country for 2 weeks. I recommend that everyone should go experience a new culture and travel someday in their lives. Everyone needs to leave the US for a vacation at some point. I got to taste the difference of the air, feel the sun’s warmth with a different welcome.

I know I met my boyfriend in 2016, but in 2017 he has always been there with me. I cant think of a time when we were apart. He’s made me realize some things about myself and has brought out the greatness in me. I know this may be sappy but it’s true that someone you care about really does bring out the best in you. He’s my punching bag, he’s my teddy bear, he’s the ear that I talk to, he’s the person that makes me laugh so hard I start crying and I forget all the bad things that happened. I hope I’ve done the same for him as much as he’s done for me. This brings me to my wonderful roommates that I lived with in 2017 and the many people I met through them. They brought me out of my introverted shell and given me a whole new relationship with myself and others.

Three highlights of the year would have to be the fact that I got to see The Garden, Mac Demarco, and The Shins all in this year. YES, I DID! I have to say that I’m proud of myself for buying those tickets. It is so fucking amazing that they all decided to stop by Austin to do a show. It was like the Gods of Music smiled down at me and said, “Hollie you deserve this”. This goes to show that 2017 did have something to put up.

In the second half of 2017 gave me the chance to do what I want in a college. I gave back myself the chance to write, which is one of my greatest passions. It’s the main tool I use to cope with things in my life. One of my greatest fears is losing my memory which is why I write in a journal.  I have so many thoughts and words to say and I found that writing was the way to channel all the sounds in my head. This blossomed my nick for writing poetry.

From what I can remember this has been my 2017 in a wrap-up. I’m sure a lot of other stuff has happened but I’m going to move on from that. Starting off…I want to be better at writing poetry and with music. I did a song recently, fully done and cleaned. I’ll decide when to post it on here. But yes, that is one new thing that has led up to this new year. I will make more songs soon! Sorry if this post seemed like a ramble.

I hope you all have entered 2018 with some grace, kisses, love, and happiness. And I wish for it to continue on.

H

December: Monthly Catch Up

December: Monthly Catch Up

Hey!

So currently I am on Christmas Break, which is pretty great considering I have almost a whole month of no school. I have time to do things, to read, write, make music, and do mostly nothing.

Now this month has been interesting- emotionally. I feel like that’s usually the case when it involves the beginning of the month, or towards the ending of the month. I know I have not been doing so great with my writing/blogging portion, but I have drafts that are waiting to be published, I’ve literally been taking a break and contemplating about a lot of things, which I should write down. I’ve also been thinking about changing the style of my blog, but that’s on the thinking block.

So Christmas was really nice! I did get great gifts and caught up with my family and friends. I always believed it was so weird having so many people in your home, with so much noise and questions. It still is weird. But besides that, we have the new year to look forward too. Yes, 2018. It is fascinating to think that the year has already come to an end. I can’t even remember some of the things that have happened, so many things that have been lost, gained, learned, failed, succeeded. 2017 has been a really long year for some of us. But one interesting thing for us Texans is that it snowed. 🙂

My family’s lives have changed, people are growing, they moved to a new house. I have a different room now, all empty and unlived in. I think I’ve gotten used to it all, even if the house is 30 minutes away from my hometown. That’s what makes it hard, to be far from my friends and boyfriend, and the closeness of them all.

I feel like this time would be perfect for me to keep working on my writing and music. My only problem is procrastination and no motivation. But I hope I can whip myself back to where I want to be. I’ve been listening to a lot of music and watching a lot of movies, so maybe there might be a spark of inspiration there.

I hope to hear from ya’ll in the next year! (don’t worry I’m not leaving)

H

 

November: Monthly Catch up

November: Monthly Catch up

Hello Everyone!

This month has been pretty eventful. There were so many birthdays including mine! There were concerts and friends trips and dinners. I got to see my family and listen to new music and movies. Of course, there was college filling in the gaps keeping me busy.

I think this was a pretty good month. This past Thanksgiving vacation was much needed. I am so thankful to have been able to spend time with my family. I think that giving yourself a rest from school and work is such an important thing for the mind and body. Its necessary for me, I get so stressed and overworked that I forget to give time for myself. Which is why I listen to a lot of music and new artists. It keeps my mind calm and functional. But that’s just me, music will always be a part of my life.

Continue reading “November: Monthly Catch up”

October: Where am I, What’s coming up

October: Where am I, What’s coming up

Hello

I have been thinking about setting a monthly update of where I am at the moment. So here is a new catch up with me.

Honestly, this month has been a downer, not just to me but for people around me. Some of my roommates and friends. Everyone has been facing a hard time and I think it just has to do with the month. Midterms are here and there deadlines for things. There are festivals and concerts happening which I had my share in. There’s stress, there’s homework, sometimes procrastinating and just enough time in a day.

It is everywhere. And sickness too.

Continue reading “October: Where am I, What’s coming up”

Starting the Semester

Starting the Semester

So I am officially moved in to my apartment with six other people. It really isn’t that all bad. I like everyone and so far things have been good. I am really nervous and excited about school. Im going to be so busy this semester and incredible independent. I feel that this year there is more academic work for me, honestly it is. More reading and writing, which is a good thing. This is a test for my ability and skills and how I will work it all out by myself. But hey, I’ve done it once I can do it again.

I will say…the best thing about this semester is the fact that I have an apartment. It is so much better than living in the dorm. I just got so sick of always being on the campus at all times. I may be only a street away from the campus but it does make a difference.

I have 17 hours of classes, its going to be fukin crazy

But hey, I’m in Austin, one of the best cities. I should have the time for myself. The only thing that I get tired of is walking everywhere and how far it is. But hey, good exercise is a good health mind. Don’t forget that! I am not even sure why I was writing this in the first place. I guess it is just an update of what this week has to offer. My weeks and months are going to consist

Who ever you are, what ever you are doing- I hope that you have great rest of the year. Be it college, work, highschool, home life- whatever applies to you.

H