🍅 Catch Up With Me 🍅

Hello…

So from what I see, I believe that my passport issue will finally work out. I have plans to go to Japan but my only problem was that when I finally got my passport, they misspelled my last name. Yup, of course they would mistake the “C” for and “L”. When I went to the post office it felt really difficult because they didn’t even have an employee that could explain well for what I had to do in order to change my last name. But I ended up getting a form I had to fill out and everything went ok. I had to pay 74 dollars to get the passport expedited so I could get it in time within or less than 2 weeks. Hopefully everything is working out with that issue. When I was paying for the package to be sent the man at the register asked if I was getting married because he was curious as to why I was changing my last name. It is very rare to get forms to change last names. I said I wasn’t changing it, I WAS CORRECTING THEIR MISTAKE. I didn’t say it rude but I was pretty disappointed that my plans get delays over their mistake. If they were unsure they should have checked my birth certificate that had in their hands.

Now, my next plan is to get my military ID and hopefully they could correct my birthday. I am not in the military, my father is and that is the area where we will be saying in Japan, and I need the ID so I am allowed on the base. Stupid people who are in charge of my paper work put the wrong birth month on my ID, so now when I go to the doctors for Insurance it is a very difficult process to get what I need. The only luck I ever had with ID’s is when I did my divers license. The best to decent picture and correct information.

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That is what I have been going through. Nothing exciting ever happens around here in my home town, and currently I am using the internet at the local library to speak to you all. This past week has been very draining to my health. Lately I have been having bad stomach pains and eating makes me sick and bloated. I lose my appetite and then I gain it back again. Sometimes I feel very down and incredibly bored in my mothers house and I feel useless and unmotivated at times to write or plan for the blog. Don’t worry, I got back up again. I have been so stressed out here, even more mentally and emotionally stressed than I was In school. I think my summer plans next year will consist of me staying in Austin and perhaps getting a job, travel more with friends and taking trips with my father, and this time we’ll be able to take my boyfriend :). That brings me on another note, it will be a year soon with him, isn’t it crazy how time flies so fast?

H

☀🌿Summer Plans 🌿☀

☀🌿Summer Plans 🌿☀

Hello everyone! I am sorry I have not been posting and my previous post was in a different format, I so not have good reception back in my home town and no internet or cable since we can afford it. That is one thing I miss about being on my own in Austin, I had the access to internet and walking distance to places. I’m from a small town and pretty much it is boring. It is peoples goals and plans to move away from here since it completely sucks being here. But all my family is here and friends and I missed them so much.

But I have some plans for the summer, while most might go to summer school or get a job… I am planning to go to Japan around June 24th to visit my father and his wife!!! This is a very big thing for me, I have not been out of the country and I feel this would be such an amazing experience. I believe I should be there for three weeks. Of course when I’m there I will have access to internet and I will be able to tell you all about the things I see there and do there while I’m on vacation. I will try to also talk about music and new albums I’ve been listening to. I’ve listened to over five albums and I want to really listen to them that way I can tell you how they really are and my recommendations from it. I will also be really a lot of novels and I already have a few in mind to talk about. And of course poetry and playlists should happen too.

Again! I am sorry I have not been posting as  much, since it is not under my control. But I will try my best to make sure to get signal to post through my phone. I hope everyone is having a great summer and I’ll try to compose a summer playlist soon! 

Thanks Guys! 

H

Ketchup with Me

Ketchup with Me

It is currently the last month of the spring semester. All I can think about is how I want it to end as soon as possible. I feel that my brain has been fried and I am incapable to have any kind focus or direction to my work or study.

But these two months have been very interesting and sort of uneventful. Besides spring break which- as always-is nothing much to talk about. Home life is very awkward at the moment, but I feel that things have worked out. I spent my time with family.

Usually I spend my days (when I have free time), listening to music, reading or making music. Recently I bought myself a Novation Launchkey Mini, so I can’t start leaning some music software and sampling. At first hand it was pretty overwhelming with so many buttons and affects on the Ableton music software, but slowly I learned to actually have control using my Launchkey mini. It’s a working and learning process and I look forward to it.

I have been in a rut. And like all young adults we have a crisis, or a moment when we feel alone. I always feel like that. It hasn’t been till recent that I realized that I am unhappy sometimes. I don’t want to say all the time but I also don’t want to say sometimes. Because it’s in a sweet spot. When sometimes everything feels really shitty and then it turns out ok in the end. That is actually 95% true:

Things will turn out okay in the end, they always have, and you always find a way

But yes- I have this dilemma of trying to not worry about everything in my life. I should be happy and I am. I am happy, sometimes things get hard and its okay to feel angry about it. But hey! There is so many amazing things to be thankful for!

And thats what you should list out, mark out, write about, reflect about. For Instance, I am thankful for:

  1. Being able to listen to music, any kind of music I like.
  2. Watching or having amazing movies that have scenes in it that move my heart
  3. Being able to eat chocolate because its so freaking delicious.
  4. Getting a phone call yesterday from my brother telling me he misses me and loves me.
  5. Hugs from my boyfriend
  6. Being able to eat things that I like or want
  7. Writing in my journal
  8. Finally laying down on my bed
  9. Music videos and youtube videos
  10. New music releases
  11. Having decisions and choices
  12. Getting new books
  13. Making music and learning something new on the piano
  14. I got through today

My list may not be as great, but it makes me happy and that is all that matters. I want to be able to explore and do things that I love to do. I want to create, experience, meet new people, and not have to worry about every possible thing that could ruin the moment.

Because feeling happy only happens if you relax and let things happen.

Not saying to not give effort. You must always give effort if you life. I feel lonely, a lot. I long to be involved and included and together. But I have my own personal problem that I need to get over. Im not in my past life anymore, I am an adult and I get to be who I want to be in this new environment.

I do have goals. YES, it is very important to have goals in something. You end up evaluating yourself and what kind of mindset and position your future you wants to have. So set up a list go goals. GO AHEAD! RIGHT NOT! I’ll even do it too.(which I won’t show you now) But anyway…

Thats what is happening with me at the moment. Just big sloppy mess of everything. But it’s okay, were all human, looking for some kind of piece of mind.

(apologize that this has no structure and my ideas jump everywhere)

Have a wonderful week! Go take a nap or eat some candy or something.

H