CLOUDBUSTING – A POEM

CLOUDBUSTING – A POEM
(title inspired by the Kate Bush song)

CLOUDBUSTING

For the second time I asked

why the clouds were late

I grew rosemary on my

temples and collected

Vesper

               tines in the morning

 

wax of secrets and diaries of

beauty for

               the second time, a second time

the world was made with

paper and construction blue

 

I love it when

my stomach jokes

and when my elbow drove me to the lake

with a door, and I

remembered the last time my liver was

handed, crowned with

jewels and baskets of

oranges, the ones picked

last night rolled back twice

on some moss’s jealousy

 

I wonder why

I wonder

Why the second time

the clouds didn’t call today

 

H

i only said – an update

i only said – an update

Mental Health, Physical Health, Creative Projects, and Getting Back 

Hi

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. I think the last one I did was around February. Now that it’s summer I can finally tell you a few things to come. I know I haven’t been posting lately and I think the last post I did was about two weeks ago, so it’s been a while! I’m sorry about that, things got really busy on the last few weeks of school and it seemed like I had no time for any personal projects or ideas I had. Plus, work takes up some of my free time so I had no motivation to set aside blog time. I feel like it’s been a month since I’ve done anything on here, but that should change soon! I’ve been going through a lot of things and I will be honest and say Continue reading “i only said – an update”

21 Things I’ve Learned by 21

21 Things I’ve Learned by 21

I hope you find this advice in the best light. Some of it is lifestyle-based and other is just general stuff. My birthday was a few days ago and really want to look back, or rather look at the now. I think I’ve learned a lot of things in my life and I think I’ve grown in my life. I’ve missed out on so much in my “past life” but where I am right now is so much better than before. So here is a list of what I’ve learned in 21 years.

Continue reading “21 Things I’ve Learned by 21”

Sumnerr Playlist

Sumnerr Playlist

It might be too late to have a summer playlist but I wanted to share the songs that my summer consisted. Some of these are new faves others are old faves. Since I made a playlist I won’t do a Songs of The Week.

(playlist will change by the addition of songs)

Add Rock Bottom by King Krule. So sad its not on Spotify. But it still slaps 🙂

Give it a listen!! For more playlists go check out my spotify here.

Give it a listen, give music a chance.

H

Where this Flower Blooms

Where this Flower Blooms

Back from traveling, body image, thoughts  

It has been a little more than a week since I’ve posted anything on my blog. Honestly, I’m tired. My trip took a lot of energy out of me and I decided to take a break for a bit. Get in tune with what to plan for the next posts and videos I want to do. My head always swarms with thoughts and ideas that its hard to figure out what I want to do and when I want to do it.

Being back in the states is so nice. I wasn’t sure if I was going to feel homesick at all but I was extremely homesick, up to a point where I was getting stressed out about it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved traveling and exploring new places and trying new things. I had a wonderful experience and I wish and hope that other people get to experience it in their own lives.

…..

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I look. Like a lot. During the vacation, I was constantly asked about my age and the fact that I don’t look like my own ethnicity. Everyone thought I was at least 3 or 4 years younger than my real age and that I looked Indian because of my nose ring and I guess the combination of my hair and my skin color. That got me thinking and feeling a lot more self-conscious about my appearance. I think I dress okay, I don’t wear a lot of makeup and I don’t do my hair that often.I’m 5’1 so that doesn’t help the problem.

But why is this a problem in the first place?

Let me just say, if you want to comment on my age around a time in my life that I am literally a young adult, please don’t. It does not make sense to tell a 20-year old that they look so young, wait till I’m 40.

Not only is this about age, but the physical appearance and my own battle of beauty do take a toll on me. Sometimes I wish I was older looking, that I was taller with a bigger butt, or that my hair can naturally be perfect when I wake up. Or if my nose didn’t have a bump in it or that my head wasn’t so tiny. These are terrible thoughts,

I stop myself and think, as cheesy as it sounds: You look badass

Because I do, we all do. I heard someone say, you shouldn’t change who you are you should grow. That is the answer.

Growing is so important. I am not the person who I was 2 years ago. Honestly, I’m anxious, scared, aware- but I’m alive and happier. I feel so beautiful. This time in my life is the best I’ve ever looked. My brother told me that every time I visit it looks like I’ve glowed up since the last time. That compliment stuck with me because he noticed the change. It made me realize growth.

We always worry about how we look, how we sound, how we are. It’s inevitable. Even if I do love and accept myself that does not tear away the factor that I can be sad, I can be unhappy, tired, and not my best. Everyone has their limits to what they can feel. Don’t blame yourself for the unwanted feeling of unhappiness. It’s okay to fall down an get hurt, but you have to get back up and continue. Take your time and grow. Change can be stagnant. We all know that growth comes with change and continuous development.

I wanted to put these words out here for myself and for others. I’ve been having a hard time understanding certain emotions I’ve been feeling and I want to break out of it. I hope I made sense and if not, just imagine that this is from my own personal journal. Journals never make sense.

I’m back now, ready for the last month of summer! Also, I want to try a new look for my Instagram;  picture concepts, Videos provided, maybe some new songs I’ve been contemplating. I will have my weekly Songs of the Week, I didn’t forget 😉

 

H

SOTW #51

SOTW #51

It’s been a weird week. I forgot to post on Monday because I was busy throughout the whole day. Also, I’ve been sort of drained when it hit’s the end of the day. However, I still got some songs to show you.

This song has been trending everywhere and I love it. The meaning behind it is so important and the song production and overall placement is so genius. Hands down for Childish Gambino.

This is America by Childish Gambino

Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode

Metallic Taste by Show Me The Body

Tomorrow by Kali Uchis

 

Give it a listen,  give music change.

H

April:Monthly Catch Up

April:Monthly Catch Up

Some Favorites, New Projects, the end of the semester, whats going on…

I am writing this on the last of April. I planned to do this sooner, but it did not work out! Anyway, hello to the new Month of May. What we got coming up is my brothers birthday, mother’s day, dead week (for some), and the summer! For me this last week will be filled with exams and a quiz, but not to worry, the good thing is that I will get it done!

I can’t believe how fast and jam-packed this month has been. So many concerts, new projects, assignments, and events. I’m not even sure where to start!

Continue reading “April:Monthly Catch Up”

SOTW #50

SOTW #50

This is the last week of classes! The semester went by so fast! This past weekend I went to a concert at The Baracuda for Levitation Fest and saw The Garden. Opening for them was Tijuana Panthers who had a really great set and performance.

The venue was really cool, I got to be literally 2 feet away from the performers. I could have reached out my hand and touched their guitars. To prepare for seeing The Garden, I’ve been listening to their latest album and other favorite songs of mine from them. I know I’ve talked about them before, but I really like this band.

other.png

Call The Dogs Out

All Access

 No Destination

Stallion

Give it a listen, give music chance.

H

Week In My Life! Part 3

Week In My Life! Part 3

Hi! This is the last video of my Week In My Life series! Please watch and comment, like, and/or Subscribe! I am planning on posting more videos during the summer and hopefully, some sit down videos! Here is this for now and I hope you enjoy seeing what I did during a regular college week and weekend of mine!

Don’t forget to check out my Instagram for more updates!

✨📷 WEEK IN MY LIFE Pt 3

 

H

Week In My Life! Part 2

Week In My Life! Part 2

Hello! Here is the part 2 of the WEEK IN MY LIFE VIDEOS! Part 3 will be released on Friday! Please share and subscribe to my channel! I would really appreciate it. If you have any recommendations of what kind of videos you would like to see please let me know!

☀️🌸WEEK IN MY LIFE Pt 2🌸☀️

Part 2 of the WEEK IN MY LIFE! Please don’t forget to like and subscribe to my channel for more videos! I really want to make videos and content to share with you guys! Please Like, Comment, and Subscribe!!!!

Week In My Life! Part 1

Week In My Life! Part 1

Hi everyone! I made a Week In My Life video! Please be sure to subscribe and share! I would really love the support of this community!

☀️✨WEEK IN MY LIFE Pt 1✨☀️ 

I decided to make a Week in my Life Videos! I split them up because I thought it would be too much, and probably too boring to have all the days in one video. So there will be 3 videos! I hope you like them! I will try to do a sit down video asap! Maybe one explaining how and why I started this. I also have some other ideas! But for now, here’s this! Enjoy!

 

H