CLOUDBUSTING – A POEM

CLOUDBUSTING – A POEM
(title inspired by the Kate Bush song)

CLOUDBUSTING

For the second time I asked

why the clouds were late

I grew rosemary on my

temples and collected

Vesper

               tines in the morning

 

wax of secrets and diaries of

beauty for

               the second time, a second time

the world was made with

paper and construction blue

 

I love it when

my stomach jokes

and when my elbow drove me to the lake

with a door, and I

remembered the last time my liver was

handed, crowned with

jewels and baskets of

oranges, the ones picked

last night rolled back twice

on some moss’s jealousy

 

I wonder why

I wonder

Why the second time

the clouds didn’t call today

 

H

i only said – an update

i only said – an update

Mental Health, Physical Health, Creative Projects, and Getting Back 

Hi

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. I think the last one I did was around February. Now that it’s summer I can finally tell you a few things to come. I know I haven’t been posting lately and I think the last post I did was about two weeks ago, so it’s been a while! I’m sorry about that, things got really busy on the last few weeks of school and it seemed like I had no time for any personal projects or ideas I had. Plus, work takes up some of my free time so I had no motivation to set aside blog time. I feel like it’s been a month since I’ve done anything on here, but that should change soon! I’ve been going through a lot of things and I will be honest and say Continue reading “i only said – an update”

Songwriting

Songwriting

Updates, inspirations, and what the heck is going on

Nothing about advice, It has been a while since I’ve talked about making songs. Sorry to let any of ya’ll down but nothing is finished yet. I know! It’s been almost a year since I released a full song (which I should record again) and I know some of you that follow me want another song. Don’t worry though, there are about two or three songs that are in the process of being made. Now that I’m back in Austin, I’ll have more time and concentration for those songs.

I know that my music isn’t the best quality, but I enjoy making it. I am still self conscious about my voice, and I know that I shouldn’t care about what other people think, but I care about what I think. If I know I could do better I want that to be on the recording, not something I just slapped together. Although, slapping something together is the funnest of songwriting. I realized that I really enjoy making something together with someone else. When I was visiting my family, my brother and I were messing around with some chords I played with him beat boxing along with it. It was really fun and I wish I could make music with him because we think alike and bond together when it comes to music. Its great to have another person there to help with creative blocks and give you new perspectives on things.

Maybe by the end of this break I’ll release one of the songs but we’ll see! Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of music and I made a playlist of songs that inspire me to make that music. I’ve been vibing to HOMESHAKE, Jack Stauber, World Brain, Morrissey, and My Bloody Valentine and a few Soundcloud artists. Taking time on making this music really matters to me, I feel that creating something is very therapeutic and meaningful.

H

Lush – review+routine

Lush – review+routine

Hello! I decided to do something different! I just wanted to show you some of the products I got from Lush and what my take is on some of the products.

I’ve been obsessed with Lush, and personally, I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve been interested in ethical skin care. Now, this isn’t a routine that I do all the time, but it is a simple plan ole routine that I do when I want to relax. It is literally 3 steps and nothing afterward! So I hope you enjoy this post! I can’t wait to go to Lush again to stock up on my bath bombs.

When I went to lush I got four things:

Continue reading “Lush – review+routine”

21 Things I’ve Learned by 21

21 Things I’ve Learned by 21

I hope you find this advice in the best light. Some of it is lifestyle-based and other is just general stuff. My birthday was a few days ago and really want to look back, or rather look at the now. I think I’ve learned a lot of things in my life and I think I’ve grown in my life. I’ve missed out on so much in my “past life” but where I am right now is so much better than before. So here is a list of what I’ve learned in 21 years.

Continue reading “21 Things I’ve Learned by 21”

I made a short song

Hello everyone, I made a short song from a poem I wrote. It’s just a demo of it so it’s not a finished product. I decided to play some chords and sing the poem as it came to me. It’s not the greatest but I like it and I hope to make it into a fuller song. Check it out on my SoundCloud Now!

 

– Men in Bikinis Women in Speedos –

Right words in the mouth

take the chance to make it out.

Making out to better times

brings the cool out of you.

What is right is right as gold,

who would like to try?

The sun is fun the moon brings tide,

to wash away, our guilt of the night.

 

H

Where this Flower Blooms

Where this Flower Blooms

Back from traveling, body image, thoughts  

It has been a little more than a week since I’ve posted anything on my blog. Honestly, I’m tired. My trip took a lot of energy out of me and I decided to take a break for a bit. Get in tune with what to plan for the next posts and videos I want to do. My head always swarms with thoughts and ideas that its hard to figure out what I want to do and when I want to do it.

Being back in the states is so nice. I wasn’t sure if I was going to feel homesick at all but I was extremely homesick, up to a point where I was getting stressed out about it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved traveling and exploring new places and trying new things. I had a wonderful experience and I wish and hope that other people get to experience it in their own lives.

…..

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I look. Like a lot. During the vacation, I was constantly asked about my age and the fact that I don’t look like my own ethnicity. Everyone thought I was at least 3 or 4 years younger than my real age and that I looked Indian because of my nose ring and I guess the combination of my hair and my skin color. That got me thinking and feeling a lot more self-conscious about my appearance. I think I dress okay, I don’t wear a lot of makeup and I don’t do my hair that often.I’m 5’1 so that doesn’t help the problem.

But why is this a problem in the first place?

Let me just say, if you want to comment on my age around a time in my life that I am literally a young adult, please don’t. It does not make sense to tell a 20-year old that they look so young, wait till I’m 40.

Not only is this about age, but the physical appearance and my own battle of beauty do take a toll on me. Sometimes I wish I was older looking, that I was taller with a bigger butt, or that my hair can naturally be perfect when I wake up. Or if my nose didn’t have a bump in it or that my head wasn’t so tiny. These are terrible thoughts,

I stop myself and think, as cheesy as it sounds: You look badass

Because I do, we all do. I heard someone say, you shouldn’t change who you are you should grow. That is the answer.

Growing is so important. I am not the person who I was 2 years ago. Honestly, I’m anxious, scared, aware- but I’m alive and happier. I feel so beautiful. This time in my life is the best I’ve ever looked. My brother told me that every time I visit it looks like I’ve glowed up since the last time. That compliment stuck with me because he noticed the change. It made me realize growth.

We always worry about how we look, how we sound, how we are. It’s inevitable. Even if I do love and accept myself that does not tear away the factor that I can be sad, I can be unhappy, tired, and not my best. Everyone has their limits to what they can feel. Don’t blame yourself for the unwanted feeling of unhappiness. It’s okay to fall down an get hurt, but you have to get back up and continue. Take your time and grow. Change can be stagnant. We all know that growth comes with change and continuous development.

I wanted to put these words out here for myself and for others. I’ve been having a hard time understanding certain emotions I’ve been feeling and I want to break out of it. I hope I made sense and if not, just imagine that this is from my own personal journal. Journals never make sense.

I’m back now, ready for the last month of summer! Also, I want to try a new look for my Instagram;  picture concepts, Videos provided, maybe some new songs I’ve been contemplating. I will have my weekly Songs of the Week, I didn’t forget 😉

 

H

Mustard

Mustard

 

Can I have some on the side

and give me some honey.

Mix it with the vinegar

and the mustard seed.

Paste on your skin and

beam in the sunlight

We pretend we are the sun

and color ourselves with rays of gold.

Let’s get old and brown.

 

April:Monthly Catch Up

April:Monthly Catch Up

Some Favorites, New Projects, the end of the semester, whats going on…

I am writing this on the last of April. I planned to do this sooner, but it did not work out! Anyway, hello to the new Month of May. What we got coming up is my brothers birthday, mother’s day, dead week (for some), and the summer! For me this last week will be filled with exams and a quiz, but not to worry, the good thing is that I will get it done!

I can’t believe how fast and jam-packed this month has been. So many concerts, new projects, assignments, and events. I’m not even sure where to start!

Continue reading “April:Monthly Catch Up”

Week In My Life! Part 3

Week In My Life! Part 3

Hi! This is the last video of my Week In My Life series! Please watch and comment, like, and/or Subscribe! I am planning on posting more videos during the summer and hopefully, some sit down videos! Here is this for now and I hope you enjoy seeing what I did during a regular college week and weekend of mine!

Don’t forget to check out my Instagram for more updates!

✨📷 WEEK IN MY LIFE Pt 3

 

H

Week In My Life! Part 2

Week In My Life! Part 2

Hello! Here is the part 2 of the WEEK IN MY LIFE VIDEOS! Part 3 will be released on Friday! Please share and subscribe to my channel! I would really appreciate it. If you have any recommendations of what kind of videos you would like to see please let me know!

☀️🌸WEEK IN MY LIFE Pt 2🌸☀️

Part 2 of the WEEK IN MY LIFE! Please don’t forget to like and subscribe to my channel for more videos! I really want to make videos and content to share with you guys! Please Like, Comment, and Subscribe!!!!

Week In My Life! Part 1

Week In My Life! Part 1

Hi everyone! I made a Week In My Life video! Please be sure to subscribe and share! I would really love the support of this community!

☀️✨WEEK IN MY LIFE Pt 1✨☀️ 

I decided to make a Week in my Life Videos! I split them up because I thought it would be too much, and probably too boring to have all the days in one video. So there will be 3 videos! I hope you like them! I will try to do a sit down video asap! Maybe one explaining how and why I started this. I also have some other ideas! But for now, here’s this! Enjoy!

 

H

January: Monthy Catch Up

January: Monthy Catch Up

Here we are on the last day of January

Well, the first month of January is coming to an end. This month has been pretty good, I’ve just been doing my own thing and doing class work. Already, homework has been so annoying but I have pretty good classes, so why complain? But besides that, I have been pretty good with my resolutions. I work out regularly and my eating habits have been way better than before. One of the newest things that have happened is, I made an Instagram for my blog! (Pls go follow it to keep up with any future posts I do!) Besides that, I feel that nothing as new has happened.

I started thinking about what I should do to spruce up my journal writing, and I’ve taken to account on making it prettier like a bullet journal. One of my roommates and I have been obsessed with peoples monthly spreads and decoration for their journal. I think I might start considering it, however not to the full extent of extreme bullet journaling. I will more than likely make a calendar for the year and then a page for each month.

Continue reading “January: Monthy Catch Up”