-just wait till next year-

-just wait till next year-

-an update-

 

I haven’t done one of these in a long time! How does this work again?

I decided to turn this update into a mess of my mind, so please enjoy the randomness.

Continue reading “-just wait till next year-“

i only said – an update

i only said – an update

Mental Health, Physical Health, Creative Projects, and Getting Back 

Hi

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. I think the last one I did was around February. Now that it’s summer I can finally tell you a few things to come. I know I haven’t been posting lately and I think the last post I did was about two weeks ago, so it’s been a while! I’m sorry about that, things got really busy on the last few weeks of school and it seemed like I had no time for any personal projects or ideas I had. Plus, work takes up some of my free time so I had no motivation to set aside blog time. I feel like it’s been a month since I’ve done anything on here, but that should change soon! I’ve been going through a lot of things and I will be honest and say Continue reading “i only said – an update”

What I Do When I Feel…Creatively Frustrated

What I Do When I Feel…Creatively Frustrated

If I’m writing this post, it might be because I’m creatively frustrated. Haha – just a lucky guess.

I realized I forgot to write a post for today and here I am doing it very much last minute. Sounds like something I would do but I guess I work better under pressure.

I figured that I am not the only artist stuck in a rut, all of us (yes you are an artist too) are sometimes in a difficult place. Especially when it comes to a creative project or when you want to rekindle your creative spirit. It’s okay – we have al been there and we all will be there. Creative frustration should be a time to rebirth your spark.  I have a problem of thinking too much, way too much, to the point that I forget what I wanted to do/say/make/or act in that moment. It sucks, but I live with it. I have so much pen up excitement (and frustration) to just produce the words and images in my head. I just want to share, love, and make things for everyone! Here are some things I do to help myself. I find that this helps out a lot with how I think things through.

I give myself a solo music/dance scene


Yes. This is a faithful technique. It really just helps me feel better when I do this. I lip sync or literally sing along to my music while dancing in front of a mirror. I do this in the Continue reading “What I Do When I Feel…Creatively Frustrated”

Gratitude – 17 thru 22

Gratitude – 17 thru 22

Hey guys, sorry for not keeping up with the gratitude. I know I couldn’t make posts but every day that I missed I did think about what I was grateful for. Today is a special day, and is actually one of my favorite holidays- Thanksgiving!

“I am grateful for being able to come home and spend time with my family”…

Continue reading “Gratitude – 17 thru 22”

Gratitude- Day 11 and 12

Gratitude- Day 11 and 12

Another double post! Enjoy!

Day 11

“I am grateful for the study times with RJ”

Sometimes getting out of the house is just what I need. It’s even better to have RJ to keep me company. Staying stuck in the house really does take a toll. So go outside, get some fresh air.


Day 12

” I am grateful for writing poetry”

I’m not the best poetry, but we all can’t be. I’m learning every day new ways to improve my writing. Sometimes I have really bad days or the first draft is terrible. Nothing is perfect the first time. Practice leads to improvement.

H

National Gratitude Month

Gratitude – Day 6

Gratitude – Day 6

“I am grateful for today, my Birthday!”

 

I just want to keep this post nice and short. I know this might be a little late but I wanted to make this post.

Although my birthday was filled with school and exams – it was also filled with people that I love and that care about me.

Don’t even waste your time feeling down or stressing about something in the past or to come. The future is ahead and there are moments to be enjoyed. 💖

I had such a great and beautiful 21st Birthday!

I love everyone and I hope you all have a wonderful night!

 

H

National Gratitude Month

 

Gratitude – Day 5

Gratitude – Day 5

“I am so grateful for music”

Today, music has been the best stress reliever. I am so nervous and stressed for an exam I have, a morning class at 8, finishing a book, typing up questions, just all my classes. I am so tired and all I want to do is actually relax on my birthday. It makes me kind of sad because I would think that my 21st would be exciting on the day of. But I can’t always get what I want. Anyway, the weekend will be great!

Today consisted of me sitting at my desk going through power points and singing along to my self-made playlists I have on Spotify. It was sort of fun…blasting my vocals along to the speaker of my laptop. Singing some classics and being reminded of artists I liked really lifted my spirits for today. I miss music all the time. It’s such a great friend.

Tomorrow is going to be fine! I have nothing to worry about. Life is not setting me up for failure!

^did that sound sarcastic? I didn’t mean to lmao.

H

National Gratitude Month

National Gratitude Month

National Gratitude Month

I decided to challenge myself 30 days of Gratitude…

November is the month of Gratitude and many other holidays and events that are important in my life. I decided that I should probably start something new and fresh for the blog that is also good for my self-worth and growth. I’ve been feeling down a lot and filled with anxiety. I believe this stems from the overload of stress from college and reading and constant assignments left to right. I need to step back and reevaluate myself. I don’t like this stress, I want it to go away. I thought that by starting up a daily gratitude post for the month of November would be a great way to start. I have never done this before but I have kept a gratitude journal once, I never finished it.

November was the first day of Gratitude but I was not able to write things down. So for today, you get two doses of gratitude!


Gratitude November 1st:

“I am grateful for my boyfriend”

November 1st is his birthday! Happy Birthday!

He is one of my best friends and one of few people who really know me. He cares for me and makes me laugh. He reminds me to Continue reading “National Gratitude Month”

Where this Flower Blooms

Where this Flower Blooms

Back from traveling, body image, thoughts  

It has been a little more than a week since I’ve posted anything on my blog. Honestly, I’m tired. My trip took a lot of energy out of me and I decided to take a break for a bit. Get in tune with what to plan for the next posts and videos I want to do. My head always swarms with thoughts and ideas that its hard to figure out what I want to do and when I want to do it.

Being back in the states is so nice. I wasn’t sure if I was going to feel homesick at all but I was extremely homesick, up to a point where I was getting stressed out about it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved traveling and exploring new places and trying new things. I had a wonderful experience and I wish and hope that other people get to experience it in their own lives.

…..

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I look. Like a lot. During the vacation, I was constantly asked about my age and the fact that I don’t look like my own ethnicity. Everyone thought I was at least 3 or 4 years younger than my real age and that I looked Indian because of my nose ring and I guess the combination of my hair and my skin color. That got me thinking and feeling a lot more self-conscious about my appearance. I think I dress okay, I don’t wear a lot of makeup and I don’t do my hair that often.I’m 5’1 so that doesn’t help the problem.

But why is this a problem in the first place?

Let me just say, if you want to comment on my age around a time in my life that I am literally a young adult, please don’t. It does not make sense to tell a 20-year old that they look so young, wait till I’m 40.

Not only is this about age, but the physical appearance and my own battle of beauty do take a toll on me. Sometimes I wish I was older looking, that I was taller with a bigger butt, or that my hair can naturally be perfect when I wake up. Or if my nose didn’t have a bump in it or that my head wasn’t so tiny. These are terrible thoughts,

I stop myself and think, as cheesy as it sounds: You look badass

Because I do, we all do. I heard someone say, you shouldn’t change who you are you should grow. That is the answer.

Growing is so important. I am not the person who I was 2 years ago. Honestly, I’m anxious, scared, aware- but I’m alive and happier. I feel so beautiful. This time in my life is the best I’ve ever looked. My brother told me that every time I visit it looks like I’ve glowed up since the last time. That compliment stuck with me because he noticed the change. It made me realize growth.

We always worry about how we look, how we sound, how we are. It’s inevitable. Even if I do love and accept myself that does not tear away the factor that I can be sad, I can be unhappy, tired, and not my best. Everyone has their limits to what they can feel. Don’t blame yourself for the unwanted feeling of unhappiness. It’s okay to fall down an get hurt, but you have to get back up and continue. Take your time and grow. Change can be stagnant. We all know that growth comes with change and continuous development.

I wanted to put these words out here for myself and for others. I’ve been having a hard time understanding certain emotions I’ve been feeling and I want to break out of it. I hope I made sense and if not, just imagine that this is from my own personal journal. Journals never make sense.

I’m back now, ready for the last month of summer! Also, I want to try a new look for my Instagram;  picture concepts, Videos provided, maybe some new songs I’ve been contemplating. I will have my weekly Songs of the Week, I didn’t forget 😉

 

H