GOOD THINGS- small talk, people, things, smiles

GOOD THINGS- small talk, people, things, smiles

SO, how long has it been since I made a video? Almost since the summer, I think.

I’m really glad I made this video. It felt good and I was in no rush to make it. I know when I did the youtube thing I planned heavily or I made dumb goals that were unattainable.

This video is everywhere! I do a little bit of catch up on where and what I’ve been doing and at 7:07 the rest is a cute little montage of some good things 😉

Please enjoy!

If you like things like this pls lemme kno!

 

H

CLOUDBUSTING – A POEM

CLOUDBUSTING – A POEM
(title inspired by the Kate Bush song)

CLOUDBUSTING

For the second time I asked

why the clouds were late

I grew rosemary on my

temples and collected

Vesper

               tines in the morning

 

wax of secrets and diaries of

beauty for

               the second time, a second time

the world was made with

paper and construction blue

 

I love it when

my stomach jokes

and when my elbow drove me to the lake

with a door, and I

remembered the last time my liver was

handed, crowned with

jewels and baskets of

oranges, the ones picked

last night rolled back twice

on some moss’s jealousy

 

I wonder why

I wonder

Why the second time

the clouds didn’t call today

 

H

i only said – an update

i only said – an update

Mental Health, Physical Health, Creative Projects, and Getting Back 

Hi

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. I think the last one I did was around February. Now that it’s summer I can finally tell you a few things to come. I know I haven’t been posting lately and I think the last post I did was about two weeks ago, so it’s been a while! I’m sorry about that, things got really busy on the last few weeks of school and it seemed like I had no time for any personal projects or ideas I had. Plus, work takes up some of my free time so I had no motivation to set aside blog time. I feel like it’s been a month since I’ve done anything on here, but that should change soon! I’ve been going through a lot of things and I will be honest and say Continue reading “i only said – an update”

Maybe

Maybe

A sad poem about conversations, just something I observed and a character formed.

 

Maybe if I’m still enough

I can float on conversations.

Maybe when there’s an opportunity

I won’t wait.

Maybe if I didn’t judge too hard

on myself, I’d talk in fragments.

Maybe if I start talking about what everyone likes

Maybe they’ll like me too?

 

H

Sumnerr Playlist

Sumnerr Playlist

It might be too late to have a summer playlist but I wanted to share the songs that my summer consisted. Some of these are new faves others are old faves. Since I made a playlist I won’t do a Songs of The Week.

(playlist will change by the addition of songs)

Add Rock Bottom by King Krule. So sad its not on Spotify. But it still slaps 🙂

Give it a listen!! For more playlists go check out my spotify here.

Give it a listen, give music a chance.

H

I made a short song

Hello everyone, I made a short song from a poem I wrote. It’s just a demo of it so it’s not a finished product. I decided to play some chords and sing the poem as it came to me. It’s not the greatest but I like it and I hope to make it into a fuller song. Check it out on my SoundCloud Now!

 

– Men in Bikinis Women in Speedos –

Right words in the mouth

take the chance to make it out.

Making out to better times

brings the cool out of you.

What is right is right as gold,

who would like to try?

The sun is fun the moon brings tide,

to wash away, our guilt of the night.

 

H

Where this Flower Blooms

Where this Flower Blooms

Back from traveling, body image, thoughts  

It has been a little more than a week since I’ve posted anything on my blog. Honestly, I’m tired. My trip took a lot of energy out of me and I decided to take a break for a bit. Get in tune with what to plan for the next posts and videos I want to do. My head always swarms with thoughts and ideas that its hard to figure out what I want to do and when I want to do it.

Being back in the states is so nice. I wasn’t sure if I was going to feel homesick at all but I was extremely homesick, up to a point where I was getting stressed out about it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved traveling and exploring new places and trying new things. I had a wonderful experience and I wish and hope that other people get to experience it in their own lives.

…..

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I look. Like a lot. During the vacation, I was constantly asked about my age and the fact that I don’t look like my own ethnicity. Everyone thought I was at least 3 or 4 years younger than my real age and that I looked Indian because of my nose ring and I guess the combination of my hair and my skin color. That got me thinking and feeling a lot more self-conscious about my appearance. I think I dress okay, I don’t wear a lot of makeup and I don’t do my hair that often.I’m 5’1 so that doesn’t help the problem.

But why is this a problem in the first place?

Let me just say, if you want to comment on my age around a time in my life that I am literally a young adult, please don’t. It does not make sense to tell a 20-year old that they look so young, wait till I’m 40.

Not only is this about age, but the physical appearance and my own battle of beauty do take a toll on me. Sometimes I wish I was older looking, that I was taller with a bigger butt, or that my hair can naturally be perfect when I wake up. Or if my nose didn’t have a bump in it or that my head wasn’t so tiny. These are terrible thoughts,

I stop myself and think, as cheesy as it sounds: You look badass

Because I do, we all do. I heard someone say, you shouldn’t change who you are you should grow. That is the answer.

Growing is so important. I am not the person who I was 2 years ago. Honestly, I’m anxious, scared, aware- but I’m alive and happier. I feel so beautiful. This time in my life is the best I’ve ever looked. My brother told me that every time I visit it looks like I’ve glowed up since the last time. That compliment stuck with me because he noticed the change. It made me realize growth.

We always worry about how we look, how we sound, how we are. It’s inevitable. Even if I do love and accept myself that does not tear away the factor that I can be sad, I can be unhappy, tired, and not my best. Everyone has their limits to what they can feel. Don’t blame yourself for the unwanted feeling of unhappiness. It’s okay to fall down an get hurt, but you have to get back up and continue. Take your time and grow. Change can be stagnant. We all know that growth comes with change and continuous development.

I wanted to put these words out here for myself and for others. I’ve been having a hard time understanding certain emotions I’ve been feeling and I want to break out of it. I hope I made sense and if not, just imagine that this is from my own personal journal. Journals never make sense.

I’m back now, ready for the last month of summer! Also, I want to try a new look for my Instagram;  picture concepts, Videos provided, maybe some new songs I’ve been contemplating. I will have my weekly Songs of the Week, I didn’t forget 😉

 

H

SOTW #51

SOTW #51

It’s been a weird week. I forgot to post on Monday because I was busy throughout the whole day. Also, I’ve been sort of drained when it hit’s the end of the day. However, I still got some songs to show you.

This song has been trending everywhere and I love it. The meaning behind it is so important and the song production and overall placement is so genius. Hands down for Childish Gambino.

This is America by Childish Gambino

Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode

Metallic Taste by Show Me The Body

Tomorrow by Kali Uchis

 

Give it a listen,  give music change.

H

Week In My Life! Part 3

Week In My Life! Part 3

Hi! This is the last video of my Week In My Life series! Please watch and comment, like, and/or Subscribe! I am planning on posting more videos during the summer and hopefully, some sit down videos! Here is this for now and I hope you enjoy seeing what I did during a regular college week and weekend of mine!

Don’t forget to check out my Instagram for more updates!

✨📷 WEEK IN MY LIFE Pt 3

 

H

A Late Resolutions List

A Late Resolutions List

I know it’s the 20th of January but I was thinking about my New Years Resolutions. I believe that the best kind of resolutions is the ones you naturally do with no force, and without writing down. Sort of like internal goals you have always been wishing to do but never do it. For example, I was always scared to drive. I had panic attacks and anxiety thinking about driving and the fear of messing up. But one day I decided to just grab the keys and go drive around the neighboorhood. Then I decided to drive to my boyfriend’s house which is about 30-40 to go. And by realizing what I was doing I knew I would have to take him back home AND drive myself back within that day. And I felt good. I conquered my fear. Internally I knew that was one of my resolutions and I accomplished it with simple effort.

Now that got me thinking. I should have a resolutions list, just to keep track and remind myself of the lifestyle I want for 2018. One of them would be running and healthy eating. Now, I walk a lot about few miles every day. But I wanted to push myself more. As soon as I got back to campus I started going to the free gym for my apartment. It just started happening and I have never felt better. I even got all my roommates to start coming with me and my boyfriend to the gym!

Change is good, especially if it is for the better of your life and others. I hope that you will sit down and realize that making a change, for whatever kind of reason, is worth the beautiful mindset you will have in the end.

These are my resolutions.

MY RESOLUTIONS

 

spectrum

spectrum

I haven’t written a poem in a long time. I thought about this one last night so I decided to write it down today. It didn’t come out like the first draft in my head but I think I got the idea down.

 

To make my colors change

You have to see to gradient

the fine lines of my pores

and the rouge to my pupils.

 

You make my colors change

what was once purple is now blue

what was once red is now green

and black to white.

 

Making my colors change-

I am a different person

I think I gave some of myself

to become something new

 

My colors changed from

newspaper to a carnival

the popcorn butter and the cotton candy twists

that satisfy the never-ending taste buds.

With the stars serving the neon lights

that change the mood over time.

 

H

 

 

 

 

Winter and New Years Playlist

Winter and New Years Playlist

I made this playlist last year in December. But since its going to be cold for the time being, here is my Chillz playlist of 2017-2018. I won’t be taking out any songs or sorting it, but I will add more songs and artists. If it ends up being too messy I’ll make a more organized playlist. I originally created this one to keep all the new songs I found from the band Triathalon and Twin Peaks. I hope you enjoy it!

H

SOTW #33

SOTW #33

Hello! Happy 2018! This weeks newest Songs of The Week are…

Margot by MINKS

The Memory by Puzzle

I really like the video for this songs, the art seems nostalgic with the vintage image of Japan.

Love/Paranoia by Tame Impala (again lol)

Island Groovies by Makeout VideoTape

Hope you enjoy these!

H

Bye 2017

Bye 2017

For everyone, I think 2017 was honestly crappy. It was. But I also believe that it’s given me a whole new change and perspective on life, and myself. I’ve had so many new experiences and met so many new people. I’ve come to realizations about myself and others. I’ve reconnected with people and I lost others.

I know that this year generally was “hard” and the “worst” for everyone, but I think it was the most changing for myself. Lately, I have not been so great when it comes to posting my poetry and other things, I know that the Christmas break is one part of the procrastination. However, I’ve been experiencing some emotional things in my life. Mentally I feel as if I get depressed, sad, and the loss of motivation. Sometimes I’ll be mentally drained that it’s too hard or too much to do anything. It’s something I struggle with a lot and I usually don’t talk about. I get self-conscious and I worry about making something great and good to place in a public space. I don’t want to label it or make it seem like I’m the only one with this problem. I know other people go through that. Even now I’m not fully explaining how I feel and other anxiety issues I have. But that’s for another time. I think these emotions and stressfulness has a lot to do with the way the world is now. College scars us 18 to 25 year olds, and exerts so much stress on us. And the answer to that is just to “deal with it” or “That’s how life is”. No, it doesn’t have to be like that. 

Maybe 2018 can give us a new start to make something wonderful in life. To make life not shitty for ourselves. That is one thing I want to do for myself. 2017 has taken so much from me and given so much back. And I want to reflect on the great things that have happened in 2017.

First off 2017 gave me the chance to travel outside the states. I had the wonderful opportunity to go visit my Dad and my step Mom in Okinawa, Japan. I still can’t believe I got to experience a culture like Japan’s. To this day I still miss it and I can’t wait to go back this summer. I know for sure we’re going to go to Thailand or another country for 2 weeks. I recommend that everyone should go experience a new culture and travel someday in their lives. Everyone needs to leave the US for a vacation at some point. I got to taste the difference of the air, feel the sun’s warmth with a different welcome.

I know I met my boyfriend in 2016, but in 2017 he has always been there with me. I cant think of a time when we were apart. He’s made me realize some things about myself and has brought out the greatness in me. I know this may be sappy but it’s true that someone you care about really does bring out the best in you. He’s my punching bag, he’s my teddy bear, he’s the ear that I talk to, he’s the person that makes me laugh so hard I start crying and I forget all the bad things that happened. I hope I’ve done the same for him as much as he’s done for me. This brings me to my wonderful roommates that I lived with in 2017 and the many people I met through them. They brought me out of my introverted shell and given me a whole new relationship with myself and others.

Three highlights of the year would have to be the fact that I got to see The Garden, Mac Demarco, and The Shins all in this year. YES, I DID! I have to say that I’m proud of myself for buying those tickets. It is so fucking amazing that they all decided to stop by Austin to do a show. It was like the Gods of Music smiled down at me and said, “Hollie you deserve this”. This goes to show that 2017 did have something to put up.

In the second half of 2017 gave me the chance to do what I want in a college. I gave back myself the chance to write, which is one of my greatest passions. It’s the main tool I use to cope with things in my life. One of my greatest fears is losing my memory which is why I write in a journal.  I have so many thoughts and words to say and I found that writing was the way to channel all the sounds in my head. This blossomed my nick for writing poetry.

From what I can remember this has been my 2017 in a wrap-up. I’m sure a lot of other stuff has happened but I’m going to move on from that. Starting off…I want to be better at writing poetry and with music. I did a song recently, fully done and cleaned. I’ll decide when to post it on here. But yes, that is one new thing that has led up to this new year. I will make more songs soon! Sorry if this post seemed like a ramble.

I hope you all have entered 2018 with some grace, kisses, love, and happiness. And I wish for it to continue on.

H

December: Monthly Catch Up

December: Monthly Catch Up

Hey!

So currently I am on Christmas Break, which is pretty great considering I have almost a whole month of no school. I have time to do things, to read, write, make music, and do mostly nothing.

Now this month has been interesting- emotionally. I feel like that’s usually the case when it involves the beginning of the month, or towards the ending of the month. I know I have not been doing so great with my writing/blogging portion, but I have drafts that are waiting to be published, I’ve literally been taking a break and contemplating about a lot of things, which I should write down. I’ve also been thinking about changing the style of my blog, but that’s on the thinking block.

So Christmas was really nice! I did get great gifts and caught up with my family and friends. I always believed it was so weird having so many people in your home, with so much noise and questions. It still is weird. But besides that, we have the new year to look forward too. Yes, 2018. It is fascinating to think that the year has already come to an end. I can’t even remember some of the things that have happened, so many things that have been lost, gained, learned, failed, succeeded. 2017 has been a really long year for some of us. But one interesting thing for us Texans is that it snowed. 🙂

My family’s lives have changed, people are growing, they moved to a new house. I have a different room now, all empty and unlived in. I think I’ve gotten used to it all, even if the house is 30 minutes away from my hometown. That’s what makes it hard, to be far from my friends and boyfriend, and the closeness of them all.

I feel like this time would be perfect for me to keep working on my writing and music. My only problem is procrastination and no motivation. But I hope I can whip myself back to where I want to be. I’ve been listening to a lot of music and watching a lot of movies, so maybe there might be a spark of inspiration there.

I hope to hear from ya’ll in the next year! (don’t worry I’m not leaving)

H

 

SOTW #32

SOTW #32

Damn. I can’t believe I completely forgot about this, but after all, it was the holidays. For my songs of the week, I’ve been going back to a lot of my favorites. This is what I got for you…

Passing Out Pieces by Mac Demarco

This has always been a favorite of mine, the words really mean a lot. The video is weird, but what isn’t weird anymore.

Flamming Hot Cheetos by Clario

She’s one of the inspirations for me to start making music.

Fucking Young by Tyler the Creator 

I hope you enjoy these songs! You’ll be hearing from me soon.

Give it a listen, give music a chance.

H

November: Monthly Catch up

November: Monthly Catch up

Hello Everyone!

This month has been pretty eventful. There were so many birthdays including mine! There were concerts and friends trips and dinners. I got to see my family and listen to new music and movies. Of course, there was college filling in the gaps keeping me busy.

I think this was a pretty good month. This past Thanksgiving vacation was much needed. I am so thankful to have been able to spend time with my family. I think that giving yourself a rest from school and work is such an important thing for the mind and body. Its necessary for me, I get so stressed and overworked that I forget to give time for myself. Which is why I listen to a lot of music and new artists. It keeps my mind calm and functional. But that’s just me, music will always be a part of my life.

Continue reading “November: Monthly Catch up”

30 Days of Poetry: Day #1

30 Days of Poetry: Day #1

Hello! This is the first day starting my 30 Days of Poetry Challenge. In advance- may mess up with some consistency in these first 3 days. I have a lot on my plate and I forgot to plan my days correctly. But I hope you enjoy this! Maybe I’ll even make a playlist of songs I listened to when I made these poems. This is going to be interesting…lets see how it goes! 🙂

H

 Day #1: Write a poem about hellos.

 

7:00 am

A welcoming smile is brighter than the sun

But the sun brings me a blanket over the night

And when the night greets my eyes

I am hugged to sleep

Headless and Heavy, everyone might be sleeping in

But I make the time to say hello to my consciousness.

 

12:00 pm

People awkwardly make eye contact because it is the normal thing to do

When you see someone in the hallway they find you too

And the sincere wave and smile

Never goes further than that, unless there is more

What was their name again?

 

4:00 pm

After the crowd of introductions and papers

Speakers whom you forget their name….

I embrace your still stature, and together we walk to our respective.

This the welcome that never gets old.

I know your name and I know their names

How great is it to see you again

 

11:00 pm

Headless and heavy, I see the overcast of sleep

And It asks me to be their friend while I can barely hold myself up

My eyes crisscross feet and focus on focusing

Good times roll, and punching media and essays of what comes next

Hands on the side and jeans off

I take it slowly and lay still.

 

H

 

 

 

A New 30 Days

I am thinking of starting a new challenge this upcoming month. However, it won’t be a daily song challenge, but a POETRY challenge. I wanted to start this so I can practice writing every day. I technically write every day in my English classes, but I feel that it doesn’t fulfill my creative outlet. I saw this specific challenge on this blog. It wasn’t in a text form so I went through the days and wrote down the challenge and created this picture 🙂

30days_of_poetry

I am not sure if I want to start it during the last week of October or in the beginning of November (probably November). But you’ll know once I start posting from the first day. I will try my best to keep consistency! My passion is to write which is one of the reasons why I started this blog to post about my life, my poetry, and about music. I feel this project will help maintain creative flow. We all feel tired and stressed and sometimes we forget to do something for ourselves.

P.S

If you would like to follow my blog, go to my homepage and sign up with your email to get notifications everytime I post, it’s really simple! The subscribe button should be towards the bottom of the page if you are using a mobile device. I would appreciate the follow! If you don’t want to sign up, that’s cool with me, I’m happy with your view 🙂

H