They Tell Me Nice Things – a poem

They Tell Me Nice Things – a poem

 

Another assignment for the books…

THEY TELL ME NICE THINGS

 

There’s a club if you’d like

To jump off

 

I throw my head off

And I think

they like me

 

Inside there was the

Smile of tobacco

And a boy

But really, he’s just a boy with fingers

And a girl

Crying in my glass

Still tastes pretty

 

I pulled off my lips

And I found myself attractive

And the tobacco was still

Smiling in the corner

And I danced around jokes

 

My friends walked through

Puddles of fire

While I dig up some lode

Resigning my eardrums for the night

And we breezed

And told me nice things

 

H

 

 

CLOUDBUSTING – A POEM

CLOUDBUSTING – A POEM
(title inspired by the Kate Bush song)

CLOUDBUSTING

For the second time I asked

why the clouds were late

I grew rosemary on my

temples and collected

Vesper

               tines in the morning

 

wax of secrets and diaries of

beauty for

               the second time, a second time

the world was made with

paper and construction blue

 

I love it when

my stomach jokes

and when my elbow drove me to the lake

with a door, and I

remembered the last time my liver was

handed, crowned with

jewels and baskets of

oranges, the ones picked

last night rolled back twice

on some moss’s jealousy

 

I wonder why

I wonder

Why the second time

the clouds didn’t call today

 

H

i only said – an update

i only said – an update

Mental Health, Physical Health, Creative Projects, and Getting Back 

Hi

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. I think the last one I did was around February. Now that it’s summer I can finally tell you a few things to come. I know I haven’t been posting lately and I think the last post I did was about two weeks ago, so it’s been a while! I’m sorry about that, things got really busy on the last few weeks of school and it seemed like I had no time for any personal projects or ideas I had. Plus, work takes up some of my free time so I had no motivation to set aside blog time. I feel like it’s been a month since I’ve done anything on here, but that should change soon! I’ve been going through a lot of things and I will be honest and say Continue reading “i only said – an update”

If Thinking Could Be Blown Away

If Thinking Could Be Blown Away

Hello my readers, here is a poem I wrote for one of my poetry classes. It was recently workshopped but I thought I should share it in it’s original form, once edited and played around with I might post a new version. This is welcome to multiple interpretations which is something I discovered during the workshop. The title of the poem is inspired by MBV’s song “Blown a Wish”.

This poem is dedicated to many, to all, and to one.

Enjoy

Continue reading “If Thinking Could Be Blown Away”

Songwriting

Songwriting

Updates, inspirations, and what the heck is going on

Nothing about advice, It has been a while since I’ve talked about making songs. Sorry to let any of ya’ll down but nothing is finished yet. I know! It’s been almost a year since I released a full song (which I should record again) and I know some of you that follow me want another song. Don’t worry though, there are about two or three songs that are in the process of being made. Now that I’m back in Austin, I’ll have more time and concentration for those songs.

I know that my music isn’t the best quality, but I enjoy making it. I am still self conscious about my voice, and I know that I shouldn’t care about what other people think, but I care about what I think. If I know I could do better I want that to be on the recording, not something I just slapped together. Although, slapping something together is the funnest of songwriting. I realized that I really enjoy making something together with someone else. When I was visiting my family, my brother and I were messing around with some chords I played with him beat boxing along with it. It was really fun and I wish I could make music with him because we think alike and bond together when it comes to music. Its great to have another person there to help with creative blocks and give you new perspectives on things.

Maybe by the end of this break I’ll release one of the songs but we’ll see! Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of music and I made a playlist of songs that inspire me to make that music. I’ve been vibing to HOMESHAKE, Jack Stauber, World Brain, Morrissey, and My Bloody Valentine and a few Soundcloud artists. Taking time on making this music really matters to me, I feel that creating something is very therapeutic and meaningful.

H

Maybe

Maybe

A sad poem about conversations, just something I observed and a character formed.

 

Maybe if I’m still enough

I can float on conversations.

Maybe when there’s an opportunity

I won’t wait.

Maybe if I didn’t judge too hard

on myself, I’d talk in fragments.

Maybe if I start talking about what everyone likes

Maybe they’ll like me too?

 

H

I made a short song

Hello everyone, I made a short song from a poem I wrote. It’s just a demo of it so it’s not a finished product. I decided to play some chords and sing the poem as it came to me. It’s not the greatest but I like it and I hope to make it into a fuller song. Check it out on my SoundCloud Now!

 

– Men in Bikinis Women in Speedos –

Right words in the mouth

take the chance to make it out.

Making out to better times

brings the cool out of you.

What is right is right as gold,

who would like to try?

The sun is fun the moon brings tide,

to wash away, our guilt of the night.

 

H

Where this Flower Blooms

Where this Flower Blooms

Back from traveling, body image, thoughts  

It has been a little more than a week since I’ve posted anything on my blog. Honestly, I’m tired. My trip took a lot of energy out of me and I decided to take a break for a bit. Get in tune with what to plan for the next posts and videos I want to do. My head always swarms with thoughts and ideas that its hard to figure out what I want to do and when I want to do it.

Being back in the states is so nice. I wasn’t sure if I was going to feel homesick at all but I was extremely homesick, up to a point where I was getting stressed out about it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved traveling and exploring new places and trying new things. I had a wonderful experience and I wish and hope that other people get to experience it in their own lives.

…..

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I look. Like a lot. During the vacation, I was constantly asked about my age and the fact that I don’t look like my own ethnicity. Everyone thought I was at least 3 or 4 years younger than my real age and that I looked Indian because of my nose ring and I guess the combination of my hair and my skin color. That got me thinking and feeling a lot more self-conscious about my appearance. I think I dress okay, I don’t wear a lot of makeup and I don’t do my hair that often.I’m 5’1 so that doesn’t help the problem.

But why is this a problem in the first place?

Let me just say, if you want to comment on my age around a time in my life that I am literally a young adult, please don’t. It does not make sense to tell a 20-year old that they look so young, wait till I’m 40.

Not only is this about age, but the physical appearance and my own battle of beauty do take a toll on me. Sometimes I wish I was older looking, that I was taller with a bigger butt, or that my hair can naturally be perfect when I wake up. Or if my nose didn’t have a bump in it or that my head wasn’t so tiny. These are terrible thoughts,

I stop myself and think, as cheesy as it sounds: You look badass

Because I do, we all do. I heard someone say, you shouldn’t change who you are you should grow. That is the answer.

Growing is so important. I am not the person who I was 2 years ago. Honestly, I’m anxious, scared, aware- but I’m alive and happier. I feel so beautiful. This time in my life is the best I’ve ever looked. My brother told me that every time I visit it looks like I’ve glowed up since the last time. That compliment stuck with me because he noticed the change. It made me realize growth.

We always worry about how we look, how we sound, how we are. It’s inevitable. Even if I do love and accept myself that does not tear away the factor that I can be sad, I can be unhappy, tired, and not my best. Everyone has their limits to what they can feel. Don’t blame yourself for the unwanted feeling of unhappiness. It’s okay to fall down an get hurt, but you have to get back up and continue. Take your time and grow. Change can be stagnant. We all know that growth comes with change and continuous development.

I wanted to put these words out here for myself and for others. I’ve been having a hard time understanding certain emotions I’ve been feeling and I want to break out of it. I hope I made sense and if not, just imagine that this is from my own personal journal. Journals never make sense.

I’m back now, ready for the last month of summer! Also, I want to try a new look for my Instagram;  picture concepts, Videos provided, maybe some new songs I’ve been contemplating. I will have my weekly Songs of the Week, I didn’t forget 😉

 

H

Why do I write about food?

Why do I write about food?

A short post where I ramble about writing…

I have come to the realization that I like to write about food. A lot.

Through my poetry, I almost always have something to say that involves food. It happens through a metaphor or a imagery that I come up from the start or serves as the centerpiece of my poetry.

There is something about food that I love. Doesn’t food make people happy? It can be rewarding, it can be uniting, it can complete, it can serve. Food can do a lot of things in our life. I know for a fact that when I get out of a class or it’s the end of the day, I am so grateful to finally be able to eat. It can either be with a friend or by myself, food is something that refreshes and fulfills an empty stomach.

I usually write about fruit. It’s easier to create a metaphor for the type of fruit I’m using. Since high school, I’ve always had an obsession with fruit. I would eat apples, strawberries, and bananas almost every day to maintain my sweet tooth. My best friend even decided to call me Babyfruit because of how much I would eat them.

WHYDO I WRITE ABOUT FOOD_

Now that I think about it-I don’t have a full explanation why I use fruit or food in my poetry. It is one of the few things that has attached to my writing. I don’t give myself much credit because there is so much to improve on my writing.  Writing is a process and always needs revision. Revision is the hardest for me, besides starting a poem.

I’ve been trying to observe my writing patterns and my stress has been prohibiting my creativity and inspiration. I’m in a stump where I have no idea what to write about. I still have not written a short story!

But, writing takes time! I have much to learn.

H

 

 

You

You

A late Valentine’s Day poem…

 

You can see

That I love you

We’re one and two

Just me and you.

You’re really all I need

 

Like puzzles and paints

We’re not the same

Now new not plain

But who can blame

You’re really all I need

 

We see each other

Just one another

Telling us the time

We’re stuck in sublime

You’re really all I need

 

H